You probably all know Stockholm for its eponymous psychological syndrome, in which hostages begin to show a chilling loyalty to their captors. Perhaps, to a lesser extent, you also know Stockholm as the cultural and economic capital of Sweden. But what I bet you didn’t know is that, in addition to all that, Stockholm is also a SHAMELESS BOSTON IMITATOR in the area of public transit.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Stockholm “Tunnelbana” — also known to locals as the “T-Bana” or, if its logo is anything to by, the “T”:

As if that wasn’t bad enough, take a look at the system map:

Look familiar to anyone? Rotate that ninety degrees clockwise and you pretty much have the T map — and not only have they stolen our Red, Green, and Blue lines and their general configuration, they’ve even had the gall to improve upon our beloved MBTA by getting rid of the ghetto Orange line altogether! What’s the matter, Stockholm? Afraid someone might steal your iPod?

Now look, I know Boston has the oldest and therefore best (ahem) subway system in the United States, but why do you have to go and rip us off like this, Stockholm? I’m a creative writing grad student, dammit! I don’t want to be reminded of how tenuous my uniqueness is, and I don’t want to see the T somewhere else any more than I want to see one of my graphic print Ts on someone else. So get it sorted, Stockholm, and get your own damn letter — and if I see anything about a hockey team called the Stockholm Brjüins anytime soon, I am coming to f@^&ing get you.

Tags:   Andrew · Boston3 Comments